This Obligatory Cut-Away...

Everything is blank.
My vision is clear translucence.
Out of focus; like seeing from a far, far way away.

In a house.
I walk downstairs. The brownish,
slightly tinged red
of the wood floor.
Yellow walls.
A carpet too.

Images that have no meaning.
People walking around, childrens' voices.
Happily together?
Playing.
Are they family?
More people.
My perspective
is skewed. Mind shut down.
But familiar. Like a dream you barely remember...

Words fall out of my mouth. Again.
Dribbling down, like a dog with rabies.

Only momentarily do they look at me.

Ah... I want to go home.

The Rain is Pretty, in a Way...

Dipping into sorrow,
without warning or cause.
Downbeat raindrops,

s
l
o
w

tempo
brings me back down from the day...
I can sleep now, can rest now, but at what cost...
Almost at ease, but something
tugs inside of me...

Too tired to move, too tired and weak.
For some odd reason, tears try to push forward,
and fall
out of my eyes...

The world is whispering,
Shh, shh,
And the trees are dripping their quiet condolences...

but now is not the time for grieving,
no,
now is the time...
for this.

So I

f
a
l
l

into melancholy; gathering strength,
as a young seedling, absorbing energy

for tomorrow, so maybe
I can crawl out of bed...

and walk out of this house...


Maybe
I could tie up my hair;
an umbrella,
go on over to see your puppy, the newborn;

we could hold him together in the precious gloom,
we could smile and jest, and be together.

maybe I can be happy tomorrow...
so for now, I'll just let sadness take me...

With every promise repeated over again,
with reassurances I could not accept,
with gentle nothings that I forced upon you,
came this. The obvious.

I knew this would happen, but I clung so hard.
I pleaded and cried in a tiny voice.
I tried to hold you down with my little strength.
But your dual abandonment wore down my heart.

You're busy, you're out, you're tired, you've gone away;
you have homework, are sleeping, or are with someone else;
you leave me here to cry and clutch to my bunny rabbit.
Where have you gone? Why did you go away?

"...He left me here in this awful place..." I whisper to her, her inanimate eyes,
"...He didn't care enough to pull me out..."
"No, baby, nobody loves me anymore."
"I'll just go to sleep now, when I wake up, I'll be fine."