So, so sick

The thoughts swimming through my head,
Things no child should ev'r think.
Swirling, whirling
In a sea
Of warm, wet blood
And the things I see.

Images
Flash through mind,
While words are buzzing in my head.

Wo ai ni,
Aishiteru;
Ev'ry whisper arouses dread...

Wh00t

I am officially high on progressive music, half-broken headphones, internet slang, and severe lack of sleep.

Shout-out to all the nocturnal people/insomniacs out there:

Ain't everything funnier at 4 AM?

I mean, heck, I'm pretty much devoid of all coherent thoughts, reading sappy lemon, and trying not break out in manicial laughter jus' cuz half the stuff is soooooo corny.

S'like Fushigi Yuugi, ne? Hate it, love it, go awwwww, laugh at it, and cry reading it. Wh00t. 'Cept this is fanon, and I'm jus' bout convinced that all fanfic authors are wacko in th' head, includin' me. My mental speech i' slurrin' due to tiredness btw, so that's why I'm typin' like a drunk.

And one more thing, dammit, READ THE FREAKIN MANGA~!! RYOUGA ENDS UP WITH SOMEONE IN THE MANGA, AND IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T UKYOU~!! Ryouga. Falls. In. Love. With. A. Girl. Named. Akari. Unryuu. And. Ukyou. More. Or. Less. Ends. Up. With. A. Male. Kunoichi. Called. Konatsu.

Ukyou and Ryouga don't end up together. GOMEN, shippers, bu' deal wi' it an' read the freakin' manga.

(I i' soooooooooo tirrrredd)

Fear

These trials and tests
On your endurance;
What is the strength of your soul...?
Bless you brother,
For all you've been through,
And all that is to come...

At this point,
We're just
Crossing fingers
And holding back our tears...
'Twill be okay,
That's what we say,
But we've really no idea.

I fear for the dream,
I fear for reality...

But most of all,
I fear for you...
(...Fever.... few...)

Brother,
Oh, brother, dear,
You are my angel too.
Left to my devices,
You were all that remained here.

When it got so turbulent and black...

You were a constant...
With your figures... and your facts.

Don't rip it all away from me;
I don't want to die again...
I'd rather die for good than have
To live through hell again...

Bless you, bless you;
I believe...

You are all I have left,
So you simply cannot leave...

Past Usernames, Boredom, and a Natural High~

Nihao, Minna-san~ Shampoo post now~

Is it me, or does something about a vegan cookie-induced stomach ache at 11:38 PM give you a natural high~~?

Maybe it has to do with listening to the Gorrillaz...

Well, I is gonna make a list of all mah nicknames/usernames now, cuz I have absolutely nothin better to do~

• Ambey (Alternatively spelled "Ambie," or "Ambi," but usually I spell it "Ambey". It's pronounced, "Am-bee," and it's based off my real name.... funny thing is, people still call me this, and I came up with it when I was 8... XD I also have a nickname that I used in elementary school which spawned from this, "Bambi," which references my nature-loving veganness.)
• Ambey-chan (Mah otaku buddy likes to add the "-chan" on... love ya, Ichigo-chan~! <3)
• Shampoo (From the Ranma 1/2 character. I impersonate her at school a lot. ^_^)
• Xianpu (Shampoo's real name. Most people just spell it Shampoo, since the pun on her name references the hair care product, but this what her name actually is in Chinese. It means, "Unrefined/uncut gem/coral"
• Xianpu-chan (Self-explanatory)
• Fnick (What Max accidentally calls Fang in Maximum Ride. Iggy teases Fang about this afterwords, and Fang calls him "Figgy" in return. I love Fang, and my best friend is obsessed Iggy. So we usually call each other Fnick and Figgy. In fact, we even tagged the "F" onto other Maximum Ride characters and assigned the names to our other friends. ^_^)
• FnickTheBirdKid (Fnick = Fang = An awesome bird kid)
• TenshiYoukai (Basically, "AngelDemon".)
• Tenshi-chan (Alternitavely spelled, "Tenshii-chan")
• 3xKasumix3 (For the pokemon character Kasumi/Misty)
• vegan_love_force (occasionally "vegan bitch" by Ruler of Worlds XD)
• Moeko (Japanese fan-term "Moe" plus feminine ending "ko", meaning child.)
• Noodles (Tee-hee... mah sistah-- ok, well my sister at heart; she's not my real sister-- calls me this sometimes. ^_^)
• Haiku (Type of poetry. And plus it sounds cool when you say it out loud.)
• Usagiyo ("Rabbit," plus feminine name ending "yo"... I honestly have no idea what "yo" means-- I think it might mean healthy, but I'm not sure-- but either way, it can mean the ghetto English slang word. XD)
• InuYashas_Maiden (Shut up. I only used this username once. XD)
• Hug_Ninja

And my email thinks my name is Akane Tendou... long story....

We all have full names in my group of frineds, like a family. (We refer to ourselves as a "cult"called the TFP. Those Flippin Pandas. ... Dun ask me, I just went along with it. XD) We have a "street name" which is usually Japanese (with me being the only exception), a first name (our Maximum Ride name), and a last name, which usually consists of whatever other nickname we go by. If we have more than one other nickname, there's usally a dash in between the two. Mine is "Ambey" Fnick Noodles-Shampoo. XD My other friends are "Akana" Figgy Lizzy-Kaboom, "Mizuko" Fnudge Eevee, "Hanabi" Fmax Mousse, "Chibi" Fangel Sylar, "Ichigo" Fgazzy, and "Ringo" Fakila Hobo. We have a complex family tree, but currently it lies with "Akana" in Virginia... ;_; I miss you, Figgy...

//Btw, what'cha'll think about a fanfic from me? I really think I should try my hand at a lemon. The plot is that somehow, the Nerima Wrecking Crew ingest/inhale something that makes them hallucinate. Akane and Ranma and Mousse hallucinate about, well, lemons, and the rest of the character's hallucinations will be comedic. Hmm... only problem is, what can I get them all high off of? Chinese Amazon herbs too cliche? Feh... *brainstorms*

Choke Me Sweetly

Beautiful hands,
Slender hands,
Soft and smooth,
A maiden's hands.

Tender hands,
Loving hands,
Fragrant and sweet,
A lover's hands.

Gently strangling
Your breath away;
Gulit and glee,
Pleasure and pain.
Cry softly
As the world comes undone;
Beautiful hands,
Soiled with blood.

Deeper and deeper,
In and out.
The knife, caress,
The dream, and the nightmare.

The black night sky
Littered with the heavy clouds,
Of past regrets
As a life is snuffed out...

Darknesh

... I just read a freakishly dark fanfic about Ranma and Akane being forced to live in the mental state of cats for the rest of their lives...

And apparently Akane will bear her mate many litters of "kittens" when the time is right.

Which is where the story leaves off.


...


Generating the obvious response from me: W... T... F.

I mean, I've written a deathfic before. But no deathfic could ever be as sad as that.

In mine, Akane basically becomes dead inside after Ranma's death, insists on going to school the next day for a feigned attempt at normalcy (so that she doesn't go insane), but just can't handle it when her classmates ask her where Ranma is and why he isn't with her. She starts sobbing and freaking out, hyperventilates, and falls to the ground as the first drops of November rain begin to fall. (One of the songs used in the anime was called "November Rain," and yes, that was supposed to be an illusion to that song, as Ranma is apologizing for upsetting Akane in it. In fact, it's not even supposed to be November in my fic, but whatever. XD) Noticing the commotion, Ukyou, Shampoo, Mousse, and Ryouga gather, along with classmates, and ya know, other characters and stuff (Yeah, that was kinda corny, I admit XD)and hear the news for the first time. They all... well yeah, everyone's pretty much shocked and depressed and mourning and stuff, which is the biggest understatement I've made all day. Then Ranma's ghost appears to Akane, and they kiss. Sad sappyness ensues. Those gathered assume Akane is going mental, as Ranma does not appear to them, only Akane. They talk, and it's pretty angsty. He apologizes for dying and having to leave her (among a few other sappy things, I really don't remember what, since I wrote it quite a few months ago), and then disappears/ascends to heaven/whatever ya want to call it. (I'm pretty sure he asked her to go on living for his sake, or something along those lines.) Akane then returns to the normal world, screeching for him not to go. Nabiki, sympathetic and mourning in her own right, takes her wobbly and shaken little sister back home.

Sad, right? Well, wait till the end.

Akane wakes up, screaming Ranma's name. Ranma, Soun and Genma rush to Akane's room, expecting her to have been attacked, only to find she had a nightmare. Akane is beyond relieved when she finds out that it was just a nightmare, and starts crying tears of joy when she sees Ranma's face. Soun and Genma leave, and Ranma asks her what her dream was about slightly blushing. Akane turns all red, and-- as you can guess-- says something along the lines of, "Nothing, baka," as she is still rattled from the terrifying nightmare. Ranma blushes, tells her goodnight, and walks out of her room, softly murmuring "I love you," as he exits. Though whether this is just Akane's ears playing tricks on her, she doesn't know.

So all-in-all, not really depressing. Even if I decided to kill Ranma off for real and let Akane fall into depression, it would still be happier than the insanely dark fic I mentioned at the begining of this post. Remember the lighthearted, childish pair Ranma and Akane? Nope, no happy end for them! They get to spend their life as freaking cats. But at least Akane-neko will bear Ranma-neko many children!

...


Yeah. You get my point. I'm not saying it wasn't good-- hell, it was pretty exciting till the end-- but... dark. If you're looking for something depressing, read this. I swear, I was fighting tears at the end.

And I know the author put up a warning about it being "dark"... but being the baka I am, I decided to check it out anyway. It's beyond dark-- it's morbid.

http://www.garykleppe.org/fanfic/catsprey.txt

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4863373/1/If_Ranma_Died

So True...

What Is Your Level Of Sanity?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

They... they hit the head on the nail... 0.0

A complex personality, you appeal only to two kinds of people - those who accept everything at face value and, most importantly, those who deeply understand the greater things you believe in. Skeptics are hard to win over, but those who like you will respect you forever. What Kind Of Anime/Manga Are You?

Let me rephrase that:

Fruits Basket fanfics are so bad that it's scary.

Lack of plot.

Lack of in-characterness.

Lack of ACCEPTANCE OF THE OFFICIAL COUPLE.

Lack of decency.

Lack of creative vocabulary.

And let's not forget the general WTF factor.

People Can't Write Fruits Basket Fanfics.

Either they feature downright creepy pairings, or are written by brainless fangirls. Tis sad.

Dread

Dread is leadening my stomach and
Pulling me down,
Immibolization.

Still, still, I am still.

Anticipation
And dread will devour me.

The end.

... You're kiddin' me, right?

“Hentai No Ken School of Ultimate Perversion martial arts special attack!”

....

Yeah.

From, She Likes to hit Ranma, by Phantom Crossing.

Nyeah... the title has a lot more meaning to it than you would expect. (Can you say S&M Akane?) And nyeah, sorta (ok, really) OOC, but there's a logical reason for it. (It actually is logical~~!)

Do they have a veganized version of that?

"That was the last time she’d eat chocolate and wasabi covered takoyaki before bed."

Enter Sandman, by Half-Elf

Gosh, this sounds like something I would write...

"That's what you get for confessing your love in the bathtub."


....

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA.

I'd write the name of the fic I saw that in, but it's so embarrassing~! XD I mean, it makes it sound a *lot* worse than it is, and it's far from family-oriented... as you can tell from the quote. But I don't want to be a thief, so...

*snicker*

...


Box of Manhood.

By Josef Mojave.

...

I'm dead serious.

That's what it's called.

Icy Sun

Every touch is lightning's strike,
Your body feverish, your hands like ice.
Trembling and twitching
With every move,
Anticipating a revel
That will surely ensue--

A pleasant hurt,
A painful joy,
Sending quivers down my spine.

Break your body
And soothe your soul;
I was never sane,
But that you know.

It's difficult to feel alive,
In a empty world so desolate.
Yet I now know,
My impulses are strong;
My body is flushed,
And your blood pulsates through me.

We become one,
One heated writhing mast
On the ship of secret desires;
We are golden, beautiful towers,
Yet we are filled with sin.

*~**~~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~**~**~*~~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~**~**~*~~

Farewell

Stalking my shadows and vexing my dreams;
This wretched word lives
To torment me.
Anguish and sorrow
Become my very essence,
And this dreadful feeling, my vice.

Proooooooooooooooose.... *_*

I want to write in prose. Badly. But I really, really need inspiration for a story. Rawr. D; Or as a Rumiko Takahashi lead-male would put it, "Feh." ... Obscure reference ftw. As you can see, I've stayed up all night again. Damn insomnia... >_<

Era of Lies

"Uso yo,
Uso yo;
Atashi wa usotsuki."

May I lie in wait
For my lies to reach me
With pointed tooth and claw.

Era of Betrayal

"Onii-chan,"
The words are faint;
For I love no killers,
Nor so-called "saints."
You'll never win,
No,
Nor will I,
'Till we prove ourselves
On the day we die.

Era of Tooth and Claw

Innocence corrupts with ease,
For right and wrong is only perceived.
Struggle and grapple,
For your words are like rain,
Turned acid with the wrongness
Of your dark, sickly creed.